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Filipino Table Manners Punished at School: A Canadian Pinay has filed a formal complaint with a local school board after her son was disciplined by a lunch program monitor at Ecole Lalande for eating in what she says is a customary Filipino manner.; { See story on the home page }

Christopher J Miles, New Zealand: Boy must realise he is living in an "English" context: Not in reference to Philippines people per se, but the use of a fork/spoon combination (like a pig with its snout in a trough) is more often than not, associated with ill-bred common people whose table manners leave much to be desired.

It is insulting to witness such behaviour in the presence of "English" people - this as I well know. The boy in question must realise that he is living in an "English" context and thus must conform to its higher standards.

In general terms, I have found that the manners, this including attitudes and social niceties, etc., of the Philippines people, are far in advance of those displayed by many a member of the White NZ community.

The coarseness, this including "character", of the "typical" white NZ is not to be admired - not at all, most being just plain common and ill-bred at the best.

Noli Lacaba, Auckland: "Do as the Romans do?": Yes, anything like this could happen in NZ. But I like to think that it will be more a question of individual and isolated case rather than a general behavior that is culturally influenced and typical.

This case to me is one that has gone too far. Is the child's table manners affecting the other children considerably? I don't believe so.

The saying when in Rome, do as the Romans do is not totally appropriate. Migrants do need to INTEGRATE but not necessarily ASSIMILATE.

Migrants need to adapt to the local culture but not totally lose their own culture and identity or they will end up like trying hard copycats.

Integration is developing a sense of belonging and identity with the mainstream but not totally lose one's character.

It is finding one's own niche in the wider community. When the migrants are able to integrate, they enrich local (Kiwi) culture giving it a new flavor.

We now celebrate Chinese New Year and Diwali festival as part of major celebrations in Auckland and not just to the Chinese and Indian communities.

Integration then is not a one sided process but one that requires a change and acceptance in both.

When this happens at the level of the individual, the person can then cope with the challenges and can compete with other migrants and Kiwis.

Myla Bides, Hamilton: "This is more comfortable for us": We should have the right to use this as this is more comfortable for us.

I see no offense in doing this. Kiwis prefer the fork and knife, but I see a lot of them also eating with their fingers, hands, toothpicks and sometimes with a spoon.

We are not the only nation that eats using these. Thailand also does and other Asian countries do too if not using the chopsticks.

I see a Chinese co-worker of mine using a spoon to feed herself rice. And I see Caucasians using the chopstick to eat noodles. There will be no point in eating rice with a fork if it will fall all over the place.

MZ Coupe, Auckland: "School policy should be clear cut": True, when in Rome do as the Romans do BUT within legal, and cultural parameters.

As was the case of the Muslim ladies who were to take the witness stand in court, the wearing of the burka or head scarf, I agree, was not upheld as the presiding judge and jury needed the the ladies' facial expression which could not be manifested with the burka shielding the face.

For as long as there are ethnic differences, there shall be nuances of perceived discrimination, anywhere in the world. However it is how it is dealt with, that matters. School policy should be clear-cut.

Be positive and take it as another learning curve, I'd say. At home she can use the spoon and fork with gusto. Flexilibility / adaptability on the part of the migrant; tact, tolerance, and citing the quaint distinct Kiwi way of eating on the part of the teacher.

Having taught and lived outside Manila, Philippines, I had to mentally and emotionally prepare my kids for the big upheaval and cultural diversity, be it Nigeria, US or NZ.

Lita Lee Zaragoza, Auckland: "Chinese do it!": It's just like Chinese or Japanese using a chopsticks so what's wrong with using a fork and a spoon?

Consuelo del Castillo, Auckland: "Like an affront to our culture": Lest we get carried away with this issue which appears to me truly like an affront to our culture (and probably to other fork-and-spoon-using cultures as well- Asians, in particular), may I invite my fellow kababayans to exercise restraint and self-control in dealing with this issue.

I have seen people react like rabid fundamentalists and I don't believe this is right. The parents of the boy (Luc Gallardo) were right in taking up this matter to the higher authorities after being not satisfied with the school's reaction to her complaint and rightly so.

As a primary teacher myself, I have seen some teachers whispering snide remarks about the way some children (not Filipinos, I can tell you) eat but has never seen any child being ordered to sit away from everybody else for 'eating like a pig'.

The lunch monitor obviously took the matter too far and, granting that everything that we read was true, the matter needs to be addressed.

Let the Ministry of Education or the Race Relations organization deal with the matter. They can even take it further to the Human Rights Commission if need be.

In the meantime, let's show the world that we are a people with dignity by showing our composure. And let's stick to our spoons and forks.